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-7:23 PM

have you ever had one of those days where you wish you hadn't even bothered to get out of bed?I've heard alot of people talk about them,But i could never really say i have had one myself,Well that would be until yesterday morning.
I was sceduled to see my psychrist at nine o clock yesterday morning.I was actually feeling great on the way there,alittle excited to tell him that i had not had a panic attack since we last seen each other.I spoke too soon i guess.When i arrived there were only a few people in the office,which was great.Myself,a older lady and a man.After i checked in i sat down waiting patiently to be called,when the man who was sat to my left got up and went up to the receptionist and started freaking out at her,telling her he has been there for a hour and a half and wanted to know when he would be seen,she proceed to explain to him he hadn't even checked in.Well up she went he flipped completely out screaming "You seen me sitting here and didn't bother to even fucking ask what the hell i was doing there,do i look like a fucking idiot who just comes in and sits down for a hour and a half for no reason you fucking moron?"His face was red and i honestly thought the guy was going to throw something at her.She checked him in and he sat back down next to me swearing his head off and smacking his hands together.I'm thankful i only had to listen for a few moments before my doctor came out to get me,i jumped up with relief,although i felt alittle bad leaving the older lady out there with him herself.She looked terrified,not that i blame her.
I was foolish to think that was the worst thing that was going to happen to me that day,because it went from bad to worse.Once i was finished up with the doctor,I had descided to take the stairs because there was a lady with two strollers,with screaming kids and even though the building is brnad new and so called advanced the elvator is tiny.So i went about my business.As soon as i turned the corner in the stairway i seen this guy coming towards me,breathless and sweating with this huge red book,I didn't reconize what it was at first but he proceed to back me into the corner a wild look in his eyes repeating over and over to me"I've done bad things,I've done some very bad things"My first thought was oh my god,this guy is going to rape me,i felt my pulse racking and alittle dizzy.When i looked down i seen huge gold lettering on his book "HOLY BIBLE",i slipped away from him while walking backwards down the stairs,trying to appear calm telling him it was okay.What he said after that i could not even guess.It was a blur,i just nodded my head agreeing.All i could make out from the mumbles was "I've done bad things,But i love God and i love life and i am not going to change it my god is with me"I smiled briefly before turning around and running the hell out of there,and i didn't look back.I got in the car,locked the doors and tried to calm myself.I was shaking so hard.So it should be no surprise to any of you i went into a panic attack.Looking back right now,all i can say is WTF,and you can bet your ass i said that a few dozen times,i came home and just fell in the bed and went to sleep.I woke up at like six o clock and got a hot shower to try and clear my head,i watched some tv and believe it or not went back to bed,i slept the whole night too.
I feel much better today.I went out and picked up all these candle's at this new store in the mall.And also some new of that Victoria Secret body wash in "Honey Dew" and "Cotton Candy",I'm going to light them and get a nice bubble bath tonight.They spell really good and the candle holders are really pretty.So between a good old Van Morrison cd,my candle's and bubble bath i am set.
I hope you all have a great weekend,and if any of you see a man with a bible the size of your head,well then i suggest you run really fast.Alright,take it easy,I'm out!


-6:21 PM

I just finished watching the local news and i am pissed.The story is that three fifteen year old boys chased a baby moose for over three hours on bikes hitting it with sticks,until it got so tired and weak it collapsed into a local woman's backyard.The police and Animal rescue were called to the scene and tried to help,But the calf could not stand on his own legs and it's breathing was shallow.Wild life had no other choice then to shoot the baby,putting it out of its misery.The police know who the three boys are,they have contacted the parents and charges will be pressed against all three for animal cruelty.WTF? The most they will get is a fine and a slap on the wrist.It's not enough.For starters they need there heads checked,Because this is how serial killers start out.Man oh man i can not tell you what i would do to those three if i could be left in a room with them for just ten minutes.I'd do some serious damage i'll tell you that.Sick little fucks.It makes me sick to my stomach.What goes on in some people's heads?Because it really makes you wonder.Sometimes i feel like the world is gone mad.I got to stop to talking about this,because i am getting too worked up.
I've gotten a few emails with some more of your questions.A few are alittle wacky,But i promise to add them soon,with my answers.I'm glad to see people care enough to actually read my blog and want to know more about me.There's not much to know,but all the same,I do appreciate it.So make sure to check back soon.
I watched 17 Again last night.It was pretty good,I was surprised.I don't think i would go back to high school though.Don't get me wrong,I had some good times,But i actually did horrible in my studies and my work left alot to be desired.The only classes i really had anytime for was Drama and Literature.
It actually reminds me of a funny story this one time in school when i was with my buddy Gordon.We were walking down the street together during out lunch break.I was having my usual cigarette and this old man stopped us both and proceeded to tell Gordon off telling him he should be ashamed of himself letting his daughter smoke.Poor Gordon didn't know what to say,here i am almost six months older then him.But i mind you now he's 6'1'',while i'm 5'2'' and alittle over a hundred pounds.It was funny though.Not that i look much different now.I have to take my ID with me everywhere.One woman a few weeks ago had to take a double look at my id and me she said she would of swore i was thirteen years old.Fifteen at the most.I guess i will appreciate that when i am forty.


-2:48 PM

Well the good news is i didn't have the swine flu,The bad news is i know why i was so sick.I had some hot dogs and my luck they were the maple leaf recalled ones.I am finally coming around,But boy was i ever sick.
Did anyone get a chance to watch Big Brother last night?I was seriously inspired.I have to admit i am not a fan of Chima,But she touched my heart last night.She totally put herself out there sharing her story about being raped,not only to the house guests but to the whole world.I can relate,I broke my own silence a few years ago and shared my story on myspace.It is a hard thing to have to go through,but i hope people remember it does not define you and it does not have to break you either.I've seen alot and been through even more in my twenty four years,But it only made me a stronger person.I'm glad to see it seemed to do the same for Chima.
I remember a few years ago i wanted to go work for a non-profit call center for woman,who have been raped or abused.It didn't really work out though.I didn't follow there rules.I pretty much had to sit down on the phone with a stack of papers and read what "They" thought i should say.I didn't agree.I wasn't a robot,and netiher were the girls who would call.They are not all the same and each situation is different.It think it is a wonderful idea,it just was not the right place for me.It's like being a doctor with two sick patients with completely different illness.You don't give both of them the same medications.They have different needs and what is good for one isn't always good for the other.I am not putting down this center.They just need to update a few things in my opinion.
Watching Big Brother i also noticed that Jeff and Jordan seem to be getting alittle closer.I think they are both adorable.Poor Jeff tries to go in for it the other day,and Ronnie walks in on them.I got a feeling they are going to have a relationship outside of the house,when everything is over.I hope so because i think they are both perfect for one another.If they're not meant for each other i don't know who is.If she doesn't want him,I'll take him off her hands.Now for those of you wondering who my type of guy is.It's Jeff on the spot.He has just about everything any girl could want.A good heart,sense of humor and doesn't take himself too seriously.He's not afraid to be himself.I also like that he doesn't have his head up his ass.He is a good looking guy but he's not full of himself.He can be alittle dorky,and i like that.I really hope he wins.I am rooting for him for sure.Team Jeff all the way.
I hope everyone had a good weekend.It's getting close to the end of summer,which means Fall will soon be here.I can't wait.

AllyAngelz Online
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DOB:
Blue Eyes
5'1''
Often Found Daydreaming
Gets Lost In The Music
Easily Amused
Stubborn
Doesn't Believe In Regret
Only Child
Curses Way Too Much
Hates Shopping
Gets Lost In The Music
Sometimes Experiences Road Rage
Clumsy
Never Makes The Same Mistake Twice
Has Panic Attacks
Thinks Scruff Is Sexy
Wishs Upon Stars
Never Holds A Grudge
Doesn't Drink
Plans To Go To England Someday
A Smoker
Scared Of Spiders
Dresses Up Every Halloween
Loves Cuddling
Not A Phone Person
Believes In Soulmates
Abit Of A Hermit
Thinks Seafood is Yuck
Has A High Pain Tolerance
Nonmaterialistic
Loves Action Movies
Has The Worst Attention Span
Admires Those Who Inspre Others
Can Drive A Stick
Hates My Boobs
No Patience For Moron Drivers
Wants To Shag Robert Pattinson
Animal Lover
A Night Owl
Feels Awkward In A Dress
Doesn't Wear Much Makeup
Believes In Ghosts
Stronger Then I Look
Not Afraid To Admit When I Am Wrong
Ambidextrous
Doesn't Kiss And Tell



"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today"

"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built."

"But inside, I'm going, 'Oh my God, is my zipper up? Do I have a booger in my nose?' That's my inner monologue"

“A lot of things that happened [in the past] would have broken anybody else. I was able to survive. That's all that really matters.”

"If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough"