Disappearing Footsteps
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-8:10 PM
I thought I'd check in for a few minutes before i rush off to get a shower.
Its the big hockey game tonight.If Pittsburgh loses tonight i think i will cry.Not really... but i will be pretty pissed.If anyone knew i was rooting for them i think my city would disown me,especially seeing that a hometown boy is playing on the opposing team. But what can i say i think the Pittsburgh pegins are exceptional and they really deserve the cup this year.
I found out another friend of mine is pregnant yesterday,i am thrilled for her,but a part of me wonders if i am missing out,I have come to grips with the fact that i can not have children and i have no regrets with having a hystrectomy,i know i had no other choice but i can't help but think sometimes,about if things were different,I guess that only makes me human.I know if things had been different,If i had been different I would of made a great mom.
When i first started this blog i was little nervous putting all of my thoughts out there for anyone and everyone to read,But nobody that really knows me even knows i have a blog so i feel free to express myself in any way i see fit and i am annoymous,unless someday someone stumbles across it and sees my picture,But even then would i really care?I wonder.I think i'll have to think about that and get back to you.
I have some more news,I found out late last night my grandmother is coming home in three weeks for a visit.I wish i could say i am delighted about this,But i'm not.She's coming home to see my dad for two weeks.You're probally wonering why i consider this bad news well you see we do not exactly have the best relationship.To be blunt she really does not like me all that much,She never wanted to be a grandmother,not to me anyways.I've come to accept that but it still hurts sometimes.I find myself often questioning how anyone can dislike there own grandchild but then i have to remind myself that there are going to be people in this world that are not going to love you,probally not even like you.All you can do is keep being you and try to get through the day.I'm not going to be mean to her.I'll do what i can like i always do.
Anyways i think i have been deep enough for tonight,I'm going to go jump in the shower and get ready for the game.I'm watching it with my mom,lets cross our fingers she can keep her feet on the ground tonight.
I found out another friend of mine is pregnant yesterday,i am thrilled for her,but a part of me wonders if i am missing out,I have come to grips with the fact that i can not have children and i have no regrets with having a hystrectomy,i know i had no other choice but i can't help but think sometimes,about if things were different,I guess that only makes me human.I know if things had been different,If i had been different I would of made a great mom.
When i first started this blog i was little nervous putting all of my thoughts out there for anyone and everyone to read,But nobody that really knows me even knows i have a blog so i feel free to express myself in any way i see fit and i am annoymous,unless someday someone stumbles across it and sees my picture,But even then would i really care?I wonder.I think i'll have to think about that and get back to you.
I have some more news,I found out late last night my grandmother is coming home in three weeks for a visit.I wish i could say i am delighted about this,But i'm not.She's coming home to see my dad for two weeks.You're probally wonering why i consider this bad news well you see we do not exactly have the best relationship.To be blunt she really does not like me all that much,She never wanted to be a grandmother,not to me anyways.I've come to accept that but it still hurts sometimes.I find myself often questioning how anyone can dislike there own grandchild but then i have to remind myself that there are going to be people in this world that are not going to love you,probally not even like you.All you can do is keep being you and try to get through the day.I'm not going to be mean to her.I'll do what i can like i always do.
Anyways i think i have been deep enough for tonight,I'm going to go jump in the shower and get ready for the game.I'm watching it with my mom,lets cross our fingers she can keep her feet on the ground tonight.
♥♣♥♠
The Chesire Cat disappeared leaving its grin to last.
The Chesire Cat disappeared leaving its grin to last.
Monday, June 08, 2009
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-6:46 PM
My head is killing me,I've had this headache for two days now.Maybe it is a tension headache,which would make sense with the weekend I've had. It all started Friday afternoon when i decided to treat my mom for a day out.I took her to the beauty salon and was on my way to taking her for something to eat,But sadly we did not make it.We were walking along talking,one minute she was behind me and the next she was in front of me face down on the pavement out like a light.When she came too she was clearly shaken and confused.I finished getting her across the street then sat her down on the sidewalk.I checked her over and then called an ambulance.We ended up spending the rest of the afternoon in the hospital.I was so worried,it really scared me seeing my mom so weak and hooked up to a EKG with all these wires all over her chest.Luckily her heart was fine.She knocked herself out for a moment,fractured her wrist and tore her knee open.Everything else came back fine.We still don't know what happened to her for sure.It could be the new medication she was taking along with the heat,But I'm just relieved she's okay now. I think i would of totally lost it if something serious had happened to her.If that wasn't eventful enough i nearly got taken out today by some blond with a cellphone in one hand,(her mouth going a mile a minute i might add)And a ice cream in the other hand,not paying attention at all.Will these idiots ever learn?I really need more patience,i know...but it's just so hard when there are so many moron drivers on the road.My middle finger ends up in the air so much while driving that one day the wind is going to blow the wrong way and it's going to end up stuck up like that for good.
You have to just keep my head up and be positive,and not let the assholes in this world bring you down.Sometimes it can be very difficult but i try to see the good in everybody(yes even the morons)Because if not you could seriously lose yourself.And that would be the worst thing you could ever do.It's not as bad as selling your soul but it comes in a very close second.
I should get going though,I have a few things to do and i want t9o try to sneak a nap in.I hope you all have a great day.Make sure to check back soon for more pointless ramblings from me :)
♥♣♥♠
The Chesire Cat disappeared leaving its grin to last.
The Chesire Cat disappeared leaving its grin to last.
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