Disappearing Footsteps
♥April 2009♥♥May 2009♥♥June 2009♥♥July 2009♥♥August 2009♥♥October 2009♥♥November 2009♥♥February 2010♥♥March 2010♥♥April 2010♥♥May 2010♥♥June 2010♥Tuesday, June 09, 2009
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-8:10 PM
I thought I'd check in for a few minutes before i rush off to get a shower.
Its the big hockey game tonight.If Pittsburgh loses tonight i think i will cry.Not really... but i will be pretty pissed.If anyone knew i was rooting for them i think my city would disown me,especially seeing that a hometown boy is playing on the opposing team. But what can i say i think the Pittsburgh pegins are exceptional and they really deserve the cup this year.
I found out another friend of mine is pregnant yesterday,i am thrilled for her,but a part of me wonders if i am missing out,I have come to grips with the fact that i can not have children and i have no regrets with having a hystrectomy,i know i had no other choice but i can't help but think sometimes,about if things were different,I guess that only makes me human.I know if things had been different,If i had been different I would of made a great mom.
When i first started this blog i was little nervous putting all of my thoughts out there for anyone and everyone to read,But nobody that really knows me even knows i have a blog so i feel free to express myself in any way i see fit and i am annoymous,unless someday someone stumbles across it and sees my picture,But even then would i really care?I wonder.I think i'll have to think about that and get back to you.
I have some more news,I found out late last night my grandmother is coming home in three weeks for a visit.I wish i could say i am delighted about this,But i'm not.She's coming home to see my dad for two weeks.You're probally wonering why i consider this bad news well you see we do not exactly have the best relationship.To be blunt she really does not like me all that much,She never wanted to be a grandmother,not to me anyways.I've come to accept that but it still hurts sometimes.I find myself often questioning how anyone can dislike there own grandchild but then i have to remind myself that there are going to be people in this world that are not going to love you,probally not even like you.All you can do is keep being you and try to get through the day.I'm not going to be mean to her.I'll do what i can like i always do.
Anyways i think i have been deep enough for tonight,I'm going to go jump in the shower and get ready for the game.I'm watching it with my mom,lets cross our fingers she can keep her feet on the ground tonight.
I found out another friend of mine is pregnant yesterday,i am thrilled for her,but a part of me wonders if i am missing out,I have come to grips with the fact that i can not have children and i have no regrets with having a hystrectomy,i know i had no other choice but i can't help but think sometimes,about if things were different,I guess that only makes me human.I know if things had been different,If i had been different I would of made a great mom.
When i first started this blog i was little nervous putting all of my thoughts out there for anyone and everyone to read,But nobody that really knows me even knows i have a blog so i feel free to express myself in any way i see fit and i am annoymous,unless someday someone stumbles across it and sees my picture,But even then would i really care?I wonder.I think i'll have to think about that and get back to you.
I have some more news,I found out late last night my grandmother is coming home in three weeks for a visit.I wish i could say i am delighted about this,But i'm not.She's coming home to see my dad for two weeks.You're probally wonering why i consider this bad news well you see we do not exactly have the best relationship.To be blunt she really does not like me all that much,She never wanted to be a grandmother,not to me anyways.I've come to accept that but it still hurts sometimes.I find myself often questioning how anyone can dislike there own grandchild but then i have to remind myself that there are going to be people in this world that are not going to love you,probally not even like you.All you can do is keep being you and try to get through the day.I'm not going to be mean to her.I'll do what i can like i always do.
Anyways i think i have been deep enough for tonight,I'm going to go jump in the shower and get ready for the game.I'm watching it with my mom,lets cross our fingers she can keep her feet on the ground tonight.
♥♣♥♠
The Chesire Cat disappeared leaving its grin to last.
The Chesire Cat disappeared leaving its grin to last.
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